So. I am reading this book “The Power to Reinvent Yourself” with a group of folks at my church. I think the book has a wealth of knowledge no matter whether you are Christian or not. The first chapter got me because it talks about your ‘why?’ The author contends that you will only change when your ‘why’ gets bigger than your circumstances, ‘but’, limitations, excuses, etc. So, it doesn’t really matter about the how or when until you know why. For instance, he speaks of three generations of women who each grew up in abusive households and said ‘I will never do x or y to my kids’ but then ended up being abusive themselves for different reasons.The cycle didn’t break until the loneliness of the author’s mom became her ‘why’.
Recently, I have been thinking about some of the things that I have been struggling with. In a conversation with a friend today, I spoke out my mouth what I have been feeling for some time. Ten years ago. Seven years ago…even as recently as Five years ago there were things that I was sure that I was good at. Writing. Computers. Teaching. Speaking. Organizing. Parenting. Marriage. That’s not to say that I was not good at other things or that there wasn’t plenty still to learn and progress in. It’s just that those were things I was confident in. I was confident because these were not just skills that I learned, but a unique toolbox put together of my own gifts and talents that I invested time, education, and lots of hard work into. In a whirlwind of day-to-day disappointments and life circumstances, I started to doubt myself. Coincidentally, as I started to doubt myself, other people started to doubt me. My own lack of confidence cost me money, a writing contract, and more. Reinforcing my own insecurities. Somewhere along the way I became disconnected from my ‘why’. Consequently, this also alienated me and some of the same people who had supported me. In hindsight, I think this is because people are much more likely to support you when they feel connected to your vision through you. If you lose your own vision, there is nothing for your supporters to connect to. Reciprocally, there is nothing for you to connect to either.
Today being Sweetest Day and all, I am feeling a little mushy. Today, I reminded myself that I am still in love. again. I am reminded of my ‘why’. I am reminded of why I need you. Why I am grateful for you. Why we need each other. I need your support to succeed. I need you to succeed to stay motivated. It is a cycle. It is life. It is success. So, Les Go!
“Here is the basic rule for winning success. Let’s mark it in the mind and remember it.The rule is: Success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be in is the support of other people.”- David Joseph Schwartz